I had a meeting with WECS (Windward Early Childhood Services, the same group that helped with Clark's speech therapy, and getting him into school) yesterday... for Harry. At the last minute I canceled. I am telling myself it was becasue I HAD to keep Clark home from school, he really did have bad cough and was up a lot the night before.
BUT, I think, I know, it was for another reason as well. I am scared to take Harry in to get evaluated. I don't want them to tell me how behind he is, and all the things that are wrong with him. I don't want them to tell me he is... Autistc.
I just want him to wake up tomorrow morning laughing, because something REAL is funny, not because he is off in some imaginary world. I want him to play WITH me, or Clark, or anyone. I want him to LOOK at me when I say, good morning baby. I want him to be HERE, not off in that secret place that he goes. I want to get to know the real Harry, not this imposter baby that seems to have moved into our house.
I totally believe in early intervention, I have seen it help other children, even my own little Clark. I know it will help us out, I KNOW Harry will prosper with their care and advice. I just want one more week of hoping that my little Harry will come back, one more week of pretending nothing is wrong and he is just a little behind.
One more week of ignorance.